The Big Brothr.

There’s no way in hell I’m taking my little sister to her middle school’s football game.

Unless my parents threaten to kick me out.

The Culture Seekr.

I won’t go out to see anything unless is has the words “screening” or “installment” in the ad.

The Contest Winnr.

The next person that says my mustache is “epic” gets a PBR. Don’t worry… It’s on my dad’s credit card.

The Clovr.

My St. Patrick’s Day festivities will involve watch a Jazz-Fusion band perform traditional slave chants in an alley & wearing all neon pink.

The Shortcuttr.

How many pairs of cutoff shorts can I make with one pair of Levi’s 511s? The world may never know…

The Casual Adventurer.

Anyone else wanna go for a bike ride up to the mountains, then hike 30 miles, then ride back & kill a 30 rack of PBR?

The Grudge Holdr.

My ex-girlfriend started following me on Tumblr, so I started posting artsy nude photographs of pregnant women I don’t know… Also my cat.

The Glare Witch Projectr.

The last time I watched a television, it was a Bewitched marathon on Nick-At-Night. I was 8 years old. It was rad.

The Photograpr.

I walk everywhere with my Vintage Minolta XG1 SLR Camera strapped to my neck like a gold medal of being better than you.
No, can’t buy film.

The Flickr.

I’ve never seen a film that wasn’t shot, edited, & released on film.

With the exception of Shop Girl, which I only saw to be ironic.